4

Addiction


“Why everything that’s ’sposed to be bad make me feel so good?  Everything they tell me not to do is exactly what I would…” Kanye West  “Addiction

There once was a little girl who knew someone addicted to drugs.  She didn’t think that there was a such thing as addiction, though.  She thought that was a cop-out to simply do what you wanted to do, and if you wanted to stop doing something, you’d simply stop.  No harm, no foul.  Boy was she wrong!

On this day 7 of my Daniel Fast, I am realizing that your body truly goes through changes when you detox it from what it has become accustomed to.  And it is not easy, nor pretty, to get addictions out of your system.  I used to jokingly say I had a sugar addiction, but now, after LAST NIGHT!, I know that I wasn’t exaggerating.  Yesterday I felt so terrible!  I was feverish, dizzy, felt nauseous, and I had a pounding headache all day that aspirin couldn’t help.  My body was super mad at me for depriving it of sugar and bread for 6 whole days.  What did I think I was doing?!  I almost said, “I’m good on this fasting crap!”, but instead I just laid in bed most of the day and toughed it out.  I couldn’t believe I was actually going through withdrawl symptoms!  Getting those “drugs” out of my system was really really really testing me!

This morning…tah-daaaah!  I felt like a champ!  I would’ve been so mad at myself had I eaten something last night that I wasn’t supposed to.  This morning was a re-focus.  I mean, I’m still hungry (lol) and I’d still love to have an egg and cheese croissant, BUT I see the bigger picture.  This goes way beyond food.  I can’t give in to my every craving, weakness, ADDICTION just for temporary satisfaction if I want to achieve greatness.  I say that I will do whatever and sacrafice whatever to get where I need to be, but this whole experience is teaching me that I don’t REALLY do all I can.  I’m being very honest…I do what’s comfortable and not so hard to get where I want to be.  This fasting experience for me is really about enlightenment and putting things into perspective.   Reality is, what you put into your body speaks of how you care about your body.  I eat alot of fast foods, or convenience foods, because I’m lazy when it comes to cooking and planning!  I eat alot of  junk because it occupies time…when I’m bored, I can go eat.  There are other examples, but I’ll stop there.  Man, I’m gonna be such a BEAST coming out of this!!!  I’ve got 14 more days to go….let us pray :)

01

I’m strong, but…


On this Day 6 of my fast…whew!  When I tell you my energy level is LOW LOW LOW LOW (like Flo-Rida), I mean it!  I’m doing pretty good.  I did backslide last night with some libations for Crys’s bday (those pics are pure hilarity!!!), but overall the mere fact that I am not eating sweets and sugar is a mini-miracle.  I do have an intense craving for crab cakes today, though.  Got me feeling hella…

Lol.

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