Here’s a little flashback song dedicated to my honey.
So many times we hear ladies throwing dudes under the bus; talking about there are no good men, all men are dogs and aint about s**t, blah blah blah. Granted there are an abundance of fools out there (there’s an abundance of FEMALE fools as well), I am living proof that not only do good men exist, but they exist quite abundantly. I didn’t “find” one until I 1) resolved some foolish issues that I had and began to truly love and better myself and 2) I STOPPED LOOKING. I have a man in my life who is kind, loving, thoughtful, and my best friend. This is something I haven’t felt before. I’m liking it alot . It’s pretty much like this: you attract what you put out. Put out a sour, self-loathing, unhappy aura- you’ll attract that. Put out an air of love, balance and peace…..you get the picture.
Out of boredom…okay, out of necessity (because sweaty workout hair is NOT the biz)…I took a trip to my neighborhood wig store and bought a new friend. Something like one of the fiercest models
Maine! Today is day 2 of my “Get Right/Get Tight” situation for this year. I go on stints with fitness. Usually in warmer months I’m quite beastly about my body…I love to look a certain way and so I’m not afraid of a lil sweat to achieve it! Then around the holidays, when it gets cold, I usually fall back and tend to gain a lil weight. My personal deal with myself is as long as I don’t get over 150, I can take it. Once I reach 150, wrap-a-roonie…we gotta get it off!
I got there and since I’ve got some pending greatness on the horizon I decided it was time to get back in with a trainer and jumpstart the process. Let me tell you-taking a 5 month hiatus from working out was a dumb idea. I. AM. BEAT!!! Jeeeeesus be a fence! But I’m already familiar with the outcome, so I might be dragging the next few days, but I’m all in. I’ma make this year my finest one yet! Mmmmhmmmm.
Ok, ladies. Enough is enough!!! I keep hearing, reading and seeing too many tales of “situations” gone wrong with guys. Then the female is left standing alone like…
…and wondering what went wrong. Hmmm. Now I am by no means a relationship expert, but I DO think I do pretty okay in that arena. And it doesn’t hurt that I was raised by my dad, so I was hipped to a little bit’o game So here are a few surefire ways I think will ruin your chances with most any guy. I’m guilty of one…or two.
1) Giving it up too fast.
This is kinda a no-brainer. The initial thrill is in the chase, so if you end the chase in a matter of hours or a few days, you’re no longer exciting. It’s like, “Okay, next game!” Game usually meaning chick. Now of course, there are some exceptions (I’ve never personally seen one, but I suppose there’s a happily married couple somewhere in the world who got it poppin’ of top), but I think for the most part, it’s a no-no. No cooch. No head. No nothing. If it’s worth something, he should probably have to work a little, no? (Plus-if he DOES like you, you may end up with a psycho! Get to know something about each other!)
2) Nagging.
Who in the world likes a nag?!?!?! Chicks don’t even like a nagging female, so you KNOW a man won’t! Trust that being on his ass about every little thing will do absolutely nothing but push a guy away. “Why you aint call me?!” “I thought you said you’d call in 5 minutes!” “Who else is with you?” “Why you always gotta be working?” “When are we making this official?!” “Who is this b**ch on your Facebook/Twitter?!” “What that hoe got over me?!” STFU.
3) Going too hard.
Um, didn’t ya know it’s the man’s job to pursue? Fall back, shawty. We may hold the ultimate card when it comes to whether or not sex happens, but the man “chooses” his mate. If it’s the other way around, you may “force” a man into something he doesn’t want to be in. And that rarely works. (Babe hipped me to this tidbit of info )
4) Being too available.
When you’re in a relationship, I think a woman should be everything for her man. (This is a new concept for me, lol!). But the key word is RELATIONSHIP. You know the saying “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Yeah. Most of us (me included) already do things we shouldn’t (i.e. pre-marital relations), but being in full wife mode without a ring? Most men will take it for granted. Not all, but I think most will. If you’ll be his everything with no strings attached while he’s “doing him” you’re completely playing yourself. I’m all for being nice and caring, but there has to be something to look forward to.
5) LOW. SELF. ESTEEM.
I think dudes can smell it in the same way that dogs can smell fear. And some dudes will willingly take advantage of it. They know they can treat you any type way and you’ll be there. They can keep you at position #2, 3, or 4 and you’ll still be there. Make it CLEAR that you not only deserve respect, but you demand it. Accept nothing less and guess what…you’ll be respected! It’s not rocket science.
Love yourself and love will come. It might take awhile, but it’ll come. We gotta end this epidemic, though! Unhealthy relationships with men/women are so yesteryear. Let it goooooo!
Ever since I got my hands on my first issue of Vogue many many years ago, I’ve had a lightweight obsession with couture. It’s one of the totally unnecessary things of life, but the beauty of it….it’s like wearable art. Masterpieces that have jumped off canvas and can be paraded down a runway. Poetry. In. Motion. And one of the best to give us that fantasy land was Alexander McQueen.
I’ve said for a long time now that when my time came & when it was my turn to traipse down the Red Carpets of the Grammys, MTV Video Awards, AMAs and such-I wouldn’t want to look like a debutante. I’d want to rock something that spoke of my feisty personality, my very creative visions, and my quirkiness. All while still looking beautiful and sexy. The designer choice was easy…”I’ll have Alexander McQueen on my back!” I said. (check a previous blog-proclaimation of this HERE) I’ve stuck with that thought forever- that he’d personally design for me- but now that will never be.
There is a lot of stock put into being young. We definitely live in a youth-driven culture. Women run to find and try out the newest and best anti-aging products on the market. Plastic surgeons are making guap hand over fist! People in all entertainment industries lie lie LIE about their age because we all know that anyone over the age of 24 is incapable of singing, dancing, modeling, or selling a product (LOL!!!! I’m being sooooo facetious!)
But the more I live, and the more I look around, I’m noticing a lot of women who aren’t exactly spring chickens are murdering the young gals! I remember going to Mary J Blige’s birthday dinner a few years back in LA at Mr. Chows and her body was amazing and putting us kids to shame! Maybe it’s because when you’re young, you take for granted the sometimes natural thinness and don’t work at it. When you get older, you begin to put in the work needed to maintain a nice physique. I don’t know…but here are a few examples of “older” women who are absolutely killing the game. I surely plan on being this type of mom
Uma Thurman, age 39
Stacey Dash, age 40
Halle Berry, age 43
Demi Moore, age 47
Angela Bassett, age 51
Natalie Cole, at her 60TH BIRTHDAY PARTY THIS WEEK!!! Girl, go!
and all of the bad chicks aint just celebrities! Check out who I’m about to start training with…
Ellen Ector, age 57! Mother of 5! Grandmother of 7! POW.
So yeah, age aint nothing at ALL but a number when you look as good as these ladies.
Posted: January 27, 2010 at 7:56 pm | Tags: tatted up
The other day I got tattoo #8. I remember when I got my very first one years ago, I thought I’d probably just get that one. Then when I didn’t really love it, I figured maybe 1 or 2 more. Now I feel like 10 is nice round number to stop at (lol). I actually know what I want #9 to be, but who really knows when I’ll stop. I have to admit, I love body art! Here are my newest “words of wisdom”
Already, it’s stopped me from spazzing on at least one person (lol!)
Here are a few pics of some of my fave tattoo’d starlets.
Posted: January 20, 2010 at 5:55 pm | Tags: heidi montag
Now. I’m not gonna really go in on Spencer’s boo. After all, my whole mantra of life is “Live & Let Live”, “Do You, BooBoo!”, “What you eat don’t make me s**t.” Etcetera, etcetera. BUT I do have to say there is something super sad and disturbing about being 23 years old and disliking yourself and what you see in the mirror soooooo much that you get 10 cosmetic procedures done in one day. This is what Heidi Montag from MTVs The Hills did.
She looks nice, but uh….well…she’s kinda giving me a SleepWalker tease.
She says she still thinks she looks like herself, just a “different more improved version.”
I guess if she likes it, we should love it. But dammit man. This just further adds fuel to my “LA is that bull” fire. (my, bad LA folk, if that offends). There are people who are unhappy with themselves everywhere, but out there….it just seems like a disproportionate number. I mean, SHE’S 23!!! I know chicks from out there that are that age (and younger) who faithfully botox it up, and augment things when they’re barely of legal drinking age. I guess.
I say love the skin you’re in. I also say if it makes you happy, it’s your life. But let the record show, I think this amount of nip/tucking is a bit disturbing. Sue me.
One of my biggest personal accomplishments over these past few years was learning to let go. I’ve always been harder on myself than anyone else could be. Therefore when I “mess up” I’ve always been the one to beat up on myself to the point of slight masochism. I just had a really hard time of moving past mistakes.
I had a particularly hard situation I got myself into a few years back that for months that I just killed myself over. I told myself I was the lowest of the low…that I was a piece of crap for what I’d done and that I obviously deserved whatever bad would come to me because SURELY a worthy person would not have gotten themselves into the mess I had. But as the saying goes, there’s always a silver lining if you look for it. My silver lining was I was pulled back into church. Not exactly for absolution, but to change my focus…to realize I wasn’t that situation….it was just a situation. And I learned how to forgive myself, move past it and stop lifting foolishness up higher than the real stuff that mattered. I grabbed my proverbial balls and said “pardon my back” to the bs and never looked back once.
Fast forward.
The bad thing about getting into “situations” is that usually you’re not in them alone. There’s usually someone else involved, and while you may move on- they may not. And so today, I’m dealing with residue of another’s incapacity to move on. I’m dealing with someone else throwing wrenches into my current peace. I cannot appreciate that. I consider myself an evolved person, so I can’t (well, I CAN and I WANT TO) go back to how I’d react before. I’m reaaaaaallllllllly trying to stay on a particular path. But dammit….it sucks to take the higher road sometimes. The old me would go IN! The old me would actually not get mad, but get even. Perhaps 10-fold (I am a Scorpio!) And the old me could easily slip back into those feelings of unworthiness. That shit’s really trying to creep up on me, too. But we won’t do that. I’m gonna fight that one.
Giving someone power to affect your shit is the worst. It’s seriously a dead end road to let someone have the reins over your emotions. I’m no good at it…it makes me wanna attack. But I have changed. I have changed. I have changed. Right?
Man…my heart is heavy. I still am not fully grasping the magnitude of the earthquake in Haiti, but after seeing some pictures, and knowing how things were already, I….just really don’t have many words. My thoughts and prayers are definitely over there. I may not be able to do much, but I WILL do something!
. It’s pretty much like this: you attract what you put out. Put out a sour, self-loathing, unhappy aura- you’ll attract that. Put out an air of love, balance and peace…..you get the picture.
I decided it was time to get back in with a trainer and jumpstart the process. Let me tell you-taking a 5 month hiatus from working out was a dumb idea. I. AM. BEAT!!! Jeeeeesus be a fence! But I’m already familiar with the outcome, so I might be dragging the next few days, but I’m all in. I’ma make this year my finest one yet! Mmmmhmmmm.
