4

“So when you need some love and tenderness….”

This subject has come up a few times in the last month or so….

I started out doing talent shows at a young age. I don’t think I really wanted to be a singer…I liked dancing way more…but I sang because I didn’t suck at it (lol). The very first “show” that I remember doing was with my sisters at this community center in Indiana, and we performed “My House” by The Mary Jane Girls. Looking back, that song was HELLA inappropriate for children to be singing (lol), but our performance was so cute! I remember my dad had us practicing our lil dance routine everyday after school and he bought us mini-guitars to perform with. My mom dressed us in white button ups, hot pink neckties, and leather skirts. She even did my hair with all the beads poppin’ just like the lead singers’. Yep, stylin’ on ‘em at an early age! I wish they’d had a camcorder back then to tape it. We won, and maybe that was the beginning of my love of stage. I liked dancing, singing, and getting a positive response. Still do! Anyway, check out the video. (Sidebar: Why do they REALLY make me think of Electrik Red?! I don’t know if that’s good or bad…)

5

That aint gangsta

Ok, everyone knows I’m a clothes-horse. I love fashion. I love the fashion forward person. I, myself, am pretty fashion forward. But one trend (well, I hope it isn’t a REAL trend) that I cannot dig is this thing where men are wearing high boots and **gasp** tucking their pants legs in them! Rocking pants and high boots the same way I wear ‘em. Like all feminine like. Case in point:

No Floyd!!! Just ’cause it’s Louis V don’t make it right! Funny thing is, when I first saw these boots on the website, I said “these would look great on a girl…terrible on a dude.” Bingo.

And two time offender, Mr. Leslie:

(on the set of a new video for somebody…)

and,

Yikes! Though he apparently thinks the look is hot, this just doesn’t look….right to me. Makes me real uncomfy (lol). Only a rocker like Lenny Kravitz or an eccentric like Andre 3000 could get away with it and not look completely suspect. Speaking of Lenny…

(with a Homer-Simpson-drooling-over-donuts swag) “Mmmmmm, Lennnnnny…”

I guess whatever floats your boat. I’m gonna giggle if I see this within 100 feet of me, though.

3

All my single….men?

I was gonna post Beyonce’s performance of “Single Ladies” from Saturday Night Live on here, but I think I’ve already done like 3 posts on that song (lol).  Soooo, I won’t post her performance (though it was faaaaaaaaaaaabulous!!!!!!!)- instead I’ll post the spoof she did on the show with 2 of their comedians and Justin Timberlake.  Funnnny!  And I’m so happy to see her finally showing personality.  It makes her even that much more likeable.

0

If this is true, I give up on hip hop!

This is the cover for the upcoming issue of Vibe.  Um, they’re saying Plies is the future of rap?!!!!??  Wow…I’m hoping there’s some weird story that goes along with this cover because if he’s what I’ve got to look forward to, I’ll pass!

01

All that glitters aint gold!

Soooo, quite a few people have said they really liked my remix to Kanye’s “Love Lockdown.”  Thaaaaanks!  (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check it at www.myspace.com/mylahmylah)  Yep, it was done out of fun on my trusty garageband setup (love that application!) and it started out as just an inside joke with myself.  I love the original song and the lyrics, so I was at home making up words to it after thinking about some frustrating conversations I’d had with a certain someone.

A little while back, I met this “certain someone” that I’d thought was quite bangin’ for years now.  You know how you may have that person you kinda crush on from a distance, but don’t really see them as someone you’d ever meet, let alone be with?  Ok, it was that situation.   Well, I saw him some months ago at a lounge.  “Oh, snapppps!”  I thought and mentally prepared myself to go in for the kill (lol).  My girls can co-sign if I see a guy I want to meet, I’ll unabashedly go for it.  They laugh at me for it but I figure “What the hell?  He can’t do anything but say yes or no!”  Who says the man has to make the move?!  Well, between the crowd and the cocktails mellowing me waaay out (lol), not much convo took place, but the impression was made.  Took the L that night…willingly.  I had something better to go to anyway.

Fast-forward to some weeks after that night.  I was at another event downtown, thinking “This is sooo not fun,” and who walks in?  Dude.  Thought to self, “This night may be interesting after all!”  He walked past, we made eye contact, I smiled and so did he, then kept walking.  Before I could feel any type of way, he doubled back and asked how/why he knew me.  Blah blah blah, so on and so forth….we exchanged info and that was that.  It was a little surreal because I’d looked at this dude like “whoa” for a minute and now we were chatting it up.  Sweeeeet!

The first day of talking, I thought he was cool as hell.  He told me I was equally cool.  Great!  Within days, though, the allure had worn away (lol).  He was pretty much the stereotype that makes me leery of talking to most entertainer dudes.  The whole entitlement issue thing…I can’t really dig it.  The whole “we don’t have to know each other to KNOW each other” thing….don’t dig that either.  He started talking like we’d known each other for a long time.  Like I should be/would be flattered that he’d want “to go there” with me.  I guess it’s because alot of chicks would be flattered.  When I didn’t respond like “yeah Daddy!” I guess he felt some kinda way, so for a good week or so we had waaaaay too much back and forth about ish that people just meeting shouldn’t even be talking about!  I was trying to get to know him as a person/friend first and he was trying to get straight to the benefit portion of it all.  No, you’re not coming to my house.  No, I don’t wanna lay up with you.  No, don’t hit me at 2am.  I’m good!  I was told I was playing games….okay.  How ’bout this game…let’s see who can lose a phone number quicker- me or you!  I win!  (lol)  Guess I’m not built to be a gold-digger, status chaser, attention-fiend, etc.  I REALLY do have to like someone to be with them.  I’ve deaded “relationships” with a couple dudes who some girls would plot on (i.e. try to get them for their $, get preggers by ‘em…) because we just didn’t have that connection.  Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

So yeah…the song’s about a certain someone.  Like one of my lines says “Yeah I know you’re fine…I’ll still pass you by.”  Not interested in being a jump, boo!  I’m just a little past that chapter in my life.  It’s always fun to write about experiences!  (lol)

01

She da best!

Maybe one day I’ll get off her jock…not today, though

Siiiiiiighhhh….I can’t wait to get up on somebody’s large-scale stage!  And sidebar:  I absolutely LOVE the all female band.  So so soooo fly.

6

One word….

I could go on and on and on about my emotions on last night and today.  I’m am overwhelmed with pride!  I can pretty confidently say that Barack Obama winning the election is the single most best moment of my life thus far!  If I’m excited, I can only imagine what my parents feel…what my GRANDMOTHER feels!  She’s a Mississppi native and was part of a generation where people were lynched, beaten, and burned alive.  This is a victory on so many levels.  I’d have to really sit and think what to write about this election because I want my feelings to be very clear, so for now, we’ll leave it at I’M PROUD!!!

2

Is that all there is?!

“It aint even no fun no more I’m jaded….
Man it’s just the game
Just play it to play it.”  -Jay Z “Allure”

When the flashing lights stop….when the bottles are empty and the party’s over….when you hop out of that nice car and go into your home, take off the fancy clothes or jewels and lay down in silence with just yourself….what do you really have?  Are you happy with yourself and your life?  Are you fulfilled and at peace?  Those are questions that I ask myself all the time, and I’m scared of that answer ever being no.  If you don’t have something deeper in your life than just the “gloss” of it all, you’re not really living…you’re simply existing in an empty life.

There are sooooo many things that have happened this year- shoot, in this past month and even last 24 hours that completely blow my mind!  I’ve been in a really spiritual place lately and if I ever needed confirmation that I should draw nearer to my God, I’m definitely seeing the signs all around me.   Our economy is crazy, racial tensions are still very high (did you all know that another black man was dragged to death on the back of a truck just last week?!), and the most important election probably EVER is days away and I know people who don’t even care to vote (!!!).  And though I know that death happens every single day, CRAZY deaths and crazy life situations have been happening…to people that are presumably living “the good life” proving that anything can happen to anyone at anytime.  Look at Travis Barker and DJ AM, Isaiah Thomas, Jennifer Hudson’s fam, just today- Shakir Stewart.  Man, it all really hurts my heart!  What’s really good?!

I know for me, it’s easy to get caught up in the day to day grind/stress/job/life and forget about 1) Cherishing life instead of grumbling about it,  2) Living your life to the fullest, 3) Focusing on what you DO have instead of what you do not, and 4) Glorifying the one who gives you breath!  I cry, scream, and get all worked up OFTEN because things aren’t going the way I’d like them to…because we haven’t finished this deal and I’ve been fighting for it for soooooo long!  It makes you tired and sometimes makes you question your worth.  The real truth is this, though: It’s great to have money and success and fun, but you HAVE to have more in your life.  Life needs to serve a greater purpose and you have to have a bigger “goal” than just “making it,”…whatever your version of making it might be.  So I have to remind myself that the really important things in my life have nothing to do with the game.  Family, love, and my spiritual well being are the things that really matter and keep me sane.  Unfortunately I’ve been slacking in building up all 3 areas, but you know me, always one for self improvement!  I see what God is trying to tell me….this impending deal and my impending superstardom (lol) is great, but it aint all there is!!!  In the scheme of things, it’s really small.  I need HIM more than all of that.  I need to do a shift of focus and stop stressing that life, and start cultivating my true life.  I don’t want to keep chasing that something just for the sake of filling up the time.  I don’t want to end up “having it all” and still being empty.  I don’t want to reach my goals and not have someone to share it with.  I don’t want to lay down at night and have absolutely nothing but silence and heartache in the room with me.  I don’t want to lose myself to things that just don’t matter.

Even though this blog is sort of a train of thought thing, and I’m somewhat ministering to myself/venting, I hope someone else gets something out of it too.  There is so much more to life than your current situation, and I hope everyone can see that.  One of my favorite sayings goes, “I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.”  Trust and believe it’s true and start to cherish the things in your life that really make life worth living….because your life really IS worth it.