01

What’s a goon to a goblin?

"This aint what you want!"

I think I’m one of the calmest and most level people I know.  I tend to stay even-keel no matter what.  But every once in awhile something happens that just makes the troll come out (lol).  It’s usually some ignorant dude that amps me up and that’s exactly what happened last night.  Here’s what happened…

Me and K somehow ended up at a spot in Buckhead where Russell Simmons was celebrating his birthday.  We were chilling and enjoying ourselves, just vibing.  After dancing and few nightcaps we were ready to go and said our goodbyes to the crew we went to the party with.  Now, I was feeling real nice, but the flip side of “feeling nice” is my already slick mouth can get even slicker if I’m pushed the wrong way.  So as I’m walking out the door, this dude damn near knocks me over trying to get through the doorway at the same time.  I don’t mean a subtle bump.  I mean he literally got me off balance.  Damn!  So much for being a gentleman and letting ladies go first or even practicing common courtesy by apologizing.  I automatically got real annoyed and thought “Am I gonna have to cut a fool tonight?!”  This was the conversation:

Me/Mylah: “Scuuuuuuuze you for almost knocking me over!!!”
Boy/Biotch: “You’ll be alright.”  (then laughs and mumbles to his boy, “These chicks be swearing they hard!  She must not she talking to a real nigga.”)
M/M: “Yeah, you’re right, I’ll be alright, you f**kin’ bitch.”
B/B: (turns around with a smirk like what?!)  “Bitch?!  Who you talking to like you crazy?”
M/M: “I called it right…you carrying a purse and s**t…”  (lol…he had a little man bag on his shoulder…hahahaaa.  Guess since it may’ve been designer, I was supposed to give him a pass.  Naaaaah). “You might wanna just go ahead and walk the other way.  I’m NOT that chick!”

By this time we’re on the street, and I could tell that “bitch” comment got him super-amped.  He was still talking ish and looking like he wanted to punch me.  Getting that reaction?!   You know I wanted to go IN!  I saw I’d pushed the button!  But my better judgment jumped in and I (reluctantly) fell back.  “Get your boy,”  I told his friend.  B/B’s boy started pushing him in one direction, and I walked away in the other direction.  Five minutes later, I was in the car laughing my head off about something totally different, and I’d just about forgotten all about that clown.  Siiiiigh, I’ve come a long way (lol).  A while back, I probably wouldn’t have backed down and may have very well gotten my butt kicked, or I really would’ve had to cut a fool (flashbacks to FAMU’s Kappa Luau when someone received stitches to the head.  And it wasn’t the kid….).  OR I would’ve been mad at myself FOR backing down.  I have that mad dog thing in me at times….I may know I probably can’t win, but it doesn’t stop the attack.  This type of situation is the EXACT reason why I don’t really do clubs.  There’s always some rude idiot that riles me and I intensely HATE being riled.  Guess it’s the Scorpio in me.  You push me, I smash you.  Luckily, this thing called maturity is all over me these days   I think there will be no more clubs for Miss Mylah ’til her birthday.  And I’ll make sure I have people around me to keep the goons away =).

0

Roll this up & smoke it

The dopeness that is Janelle Monae…

She’s on some different ish, got a beautiful voice, and her stage presence is craaaaaazy.  And yep, she’s just that live LIVE.  She’s also an extremely sweet person…her and her bandmates!  Go Miss Monae!

01

I never thought I’d say this, but….

I actually like Puff’s version better than the other one!!!  And I’m a super Kanye/Jay Z fan.  Go figure.  Guess Scorpios got it

(I see you in the Jeep, Shawty…lololol)!

0

Drumma Boy

Last night I was supposed to go to Tabernacle to watch my friend Thomas AKA Burna (lol) play with his band The Mars Volta.  Never heard of ‘em?  I hadn’t either until he told me about them.  I mean, I still don’t know too too much about them….they’re a Progressive Rock group (named the best in that lane by Rolling Stone this year!) but since I’m more into R&B and such, than rock…I missed that memo.

Anyhooo….my boy is an insane drummer who I met on the Keyshia Cole tour during her first album heyday.  He was wild then, so when moved on to play for Wicked Wisdom (Jada Pinkett-Smith’s band) and then to The Mars Volta, I got it immediately.  Long story short, I walked up to Tabernacle as people were walking out.  Boooo!  I missed the show.  What a suck-arse friend!  To make up for it, here’s a youtube of Thomas doing a drum solo at another of their shows.  Give it up….dude’s a monster.

(lol…at the lead singer getting his James Brown on!)

7

Conspiracy Theory

It is 1:03 and I’m just finishing my breakfast….lazy lazy lazy!  Actually, I’m just crazy tired from working and keeping late hours.  I woke up to a text at 11:49 and promptly popped out of bed feeling like I needed to get up, get out, and do SOMETHING!  Time was awastin’!  As I stumbled to the bathroom, I could barely open my eyes…these damn (false, individual) lashes were sticking to my bottom lashes.  I looked in the mirror and saw all kinds of….ish….on them.  Yesterday’s bronzer, old liner, eye shadow, and whatever else had fallen into or on them.  For the sake of my eyesight (lol), and sanitation, I decided it was time to take them off.  Awwww!  I’d learned my lesson trying to yank them off the first time I’d ever had individuals…it hurts like hell and it leaves you with not ONE lash.  So I fished out some lash remover the bottom of my makeup bag and took them off “safely.”  The remover still takes out your lashes regardless, just not as bad, so paired with my funny natural eyebrows (that don’t grow out to a respectable length) I looked like a plucked chicken ‘bout the face (Iol).  Whatev!  I just put on my biggest stunnas and went to the grocery store to get some breakfast stuff.

Pulling out of my complex, I saw a winding line at the gas station.  Ok, I’m always one to think the government is on some ole’ conspiracy ish, and the way that this particular gas station has been all week only makes me think it more.  There was only 87 grade gas left, and only 2 pumps had it.  Therefore, there was about 20 cars lined up and jamming up the gas station parking lot, all PRAYING that they could get just a little bit of that 87 (which nobody usually probably gets anyway).  Every other morning for like the last 7 days, all the pumps are full and gas is available.  By the end of the day, they’re down to nothing.  The next morning it’s panic!  The other night, I was riding on fumes and only 1 pump at this station was working.  Two cars were in front of me and just when I was about to get some gas, the attendant came out and said the gas was all gone.  I had to ride around looking for gas and passed 3 stations- all empty- before I found one that had anything.  I think the government’s trying to create that sense of panic.  It’ll probably be this way ’til elections…then SOMEONE will save us from this “lack-of-gas” plight.  Boooooo!  Since when do gas delivery trucks only deliver enough to last a station 24 hours?  Since never.  Please stop.  It’s quite annoying.  (of course no one reading this works for Big Petro, so uhhhh….yeah).

And speaking of conspiracy, uh, is this “recession” a conspiracy?  I mean, are we supposed to be feeling desperate and uneasy due to this impending election?  It’s almost feels like it was all planned and whatnot…”let’s make every one afraid for their lives (their comfy lives) then when November 4th comes….watch, ish will change!  Then you got Oprah, who I’m usually all for, going on her show telling people that in this time of recession, to tip 10% for services, i.e. at restaurants, salons, etc.  ‘Scuse me?!  I work at a restaurant while “waiting on checks” (lolol!!!) and uhhh, if you come to my spot, and I serve you, and you tip 10%….you may accidentally get a drink spilled on your head. =)  10% aint ish!!!  I could write an entire blog dedicated to the art of tipping, but I won’t fully go there right now.  15% is standard if service is good (and mine ALWAYS is).  20% is better.  And if you’re like me, go up even more if the service is great.  I always tip well, even before I was a server.  It’s just the right thing to do.  My last table last night- they tipped 35 on 100 because I took care of them.  Take notes, bad tippers!  Servers are not being paid salaries, so uhhh….the tip is basically the pay.  Get hip, fools!!!  Back to Oprah; how about she should have said if you don’t have enough to tip, order carry-out or, here’s my idea, STAY YO’ ASS AT HOME AND COOK!  Please don’t come in my section and leave $10 on a $100 check.  It aint gangsta.  That’s tacky and you’re tacky if you do it.  Okay…WOOO SAAAAH….I had a moment there (lol).   Maybe I’m tripping, but I just feel all this recession crap is a little forced.  It really just makes me get on my stuff harder, and that aint a bad thing at all.

So on that note, off to write something.  Later….

3

Not MY Auberella!!!

I’m not gonna say too much.  I’m just gonna say that when I was around chick, THIS was not her.  I don’t know when or where she turned, but uhhhh….yeah, she turned.  Come back, Aubrey.  It’s okay.  Really.

I wanna cry cause this is a REAL photo shoot…for an actual magazine.  Not for the boo, like for the world.  Mmmmkay.

And moving on to another pic I saw that made me almost chuck my peanut butter and jelly…

Yep…I’m cool on sex for a lil bit (lol).

3

That New-New, That Lukewarm Ish, and That Wish List

We met a long time ago.  Lived on opposite coasts.  He, much younger than me.  All those things added up to a “not a chance!” in my head.  But here it is, 3 years later, we never fell out of touch, and that “no way” is now transforming into a “…maybe?”  It’s funny how life takes people, places and things that we think are constant and makes them fade away.  And then a person, place or thing that we think will never happen…boom….it kinda lands in your lap when you least expect it.  I’m not exactly mad at it   We’ll see how this develops.  My life is all about going with the flow, man.

On another note, today I decided I’d check out all the beat submissions for the Melrose project.  I created a specific email addy for people that I don’t know to send beats to, and to be honest, I’ve been afraid to listen.  For whatever reason.  But I’ve been getting a bunch of myspace emails like “Yo, what did you think of the music?!”  so I figured I needed to actually put ears to them.  About 50 tracks later….not one grabbed me   How sad!  I mean, maybe I’m getting too picky (yeah, right, there’s no such thing!  I dig what I dig!)  It’s just that we’ve been recording such incredible stuff lately, I’m expect nothing less than chills when I hear a new beat.  The last song we recorded was done by none other than Mr. Andre 3000, so you already KNOW that joint is bananas.  To go back to songs that are just cool?  Naaaaahhhh….not looking forward to telling those people that, though.

And while we’re on the path of forward momentum/hot momentum, my birthday is a mere 68 days away!!!  Lol….that’s a minute, I know, but the celebrations will probably start November 1st.  I’ll celebrate the whole Scorpio season!  I’m about to start planning the shindig(s) and reaching out to my promo friends to see what I can do to make it fab and utterly hot.  Yeah, I’m throwing myself a damn party!  No one seems to be able to do me and my affairs better than me, so why not!?  I’m also gonna look into where I’m trying to go as far as a destination celebration.  Will it be Miami?  Will it be Vegas?  Will it be dolo, with friends, or a boo-up situation (lol)?  Only time will tell.  But I’m about to map it out right now.  Stay tuned….if you’re in Atlanta or Indianapolis, be on party alert   Oh, and if you are feeling generous (doubtful in this recession, but….) Mylah would like for her born-day the following:

A Louis V Damier backpack (only I wish they made this one in the Graphite style.  That would be siiiiiiiick!!! Oh, wait, this one is a custom-made one, so I guess I can’t get it anyway…)

A new Mac Book

and about 5 new pairs of Trues

(that’s exactly how my little booty looks in ‘em, too!  Lol!)

Okay….um, maybe more realistically:
A spa gift certificate, preferably to Skincare by Gabriela here in Atlanta

A Bebe gift certificate (they’ve got some craaaaazy shoes in stock!)

Shoot, a gift card/certificate for anywhere would be fine by me!

So, you got 68 days to figure it out (lol).

2

Wow….just wow

Dudes ask me “what’s your type?” quite a bit.  As to not discriminate (lol), I usually don’t give an answer.  Or I’ll give a really vague one like “You know…a guy with alot of swag.”  (wtf?)  But truth is, THIS is all the way my type of hype!

Yum

Yummier

And I aint even post the ones with his shirt off!  This is Lance Gross, actor and boyfriend of the extra-beautiful Eva Marcelle.  So he’s not on the market…that’s cool.  But if you’re tall, chocolate, clean cut, and got style for days, YOU my friend, could be my type =)

Now excuse me as I look at Mr. Gross for a few more minutes….uh huh…

01

On the fix-up

I woke up this morning and immediately thought, “Damn, I need a massage!”  I’m SO FREAKIN’ SORE!!!  Yesterday was Day 1 of my “Go Hard” workouts.  For the last 2 or 3 months, I’ve been on some real chill, maintenance type workouts which basically consisted on Pilates, crunches, and an occasional light weights session.  But since we have tentative shows coming up (laughs to self…), I want to be way on point, so I’m putting myself through the paces to get back into my athletic shape.  Oh joy!  Not that I look bad now…it’s just that I’m probably the softest and heaviest size 4 you ever saw (lol).  I’m cool, maybe even good, but a chick needs to stay SPECTACULAR!

Since I decided I don’t want to kill or injure myself this time, and I’ve got weeks to get tight and 6-packed up, I only ran a mile yesterday (I haven’t run in about 8 weeks, so my usual 3-5 mile run wasn’t poppin’ off) and then did about 20 minutes of arms and back and, of course, abs.  Today will be another mile, legs, and abs.  The plan is to go 5 times a week.  Week one, 1 mile cardio and alternate which set of muscles I work with the weights.  Week 2, 2 miles a day and weights.  Week 3, 3 miles, etc.  Once I get to 5 miles a day, I’ll switch up my cardio routine.  On the 6th day of the week, I’ll do Yoga or Pilates to stretch it all out, and chill on the 7th day.  I’ll be back to that photo shoot body (or better) in no time!  Yaaay!

Me earlier this year

I also want to get tight because my bday is nearing ‘round the corner, and in addition to the freak’um dresses I plan on rocking (yes, it will be a month long, multi-city celebration!) I plan on taking myself on a vacay to somebody’s beach.  Whether I go with a crew or solo, I WILL be hitting the ocean in November.  If you wanna come….  I don’t want ish jiggling too crazy as I’m playing beach football =)

Ok, let me stretch and get ready to hit this gym….I was gonna blog about some people who are already in the spotlight that might wanna join me in my gym efforts (lol), but I feel like only being sugary-sweet today.  Maybe tomorrow…. smooches!

4

Sexpot Jones

Yep, that’s my alter-ego.  ‘Cause the real me, Jamilah, is a tomboy who doesn’t take herself too seriously, loves to lounge, and is somewhat the egghead.  I mean, the sexy’s there, but it isn’t overt.  But when I wanna turn it on…when I need to go into star mode…yessir!  Miss Jones can step right up on to the plate.

So why is it, then, that it annoys the HELL out of me when guys refer to me as sexy?!  In certain instances it’s okay (and currently there’s only one person I want to hear call me sexy), but a text that says, “Hey Sexy, what’s up?”  Or a call where instead of the greeting being, “Hi, Mylah,” it’s “Hi, Sexy.”  AGGGGHHHH!!!  It’s especially wack when it comes from somebody I JUST MET!  I mean, damn!  We’re going there already?!

My group members and I were talking about it the other day and couldn’t really figure why it annoyed us or why guys even did it.  Is it supposed to be complimentary?  Should I be flattered?  (I rarely am)   Or is it because alot of guys put alot of chicks into the “sex” category?  That’s where I don’t wanna be.  I think the world is already waaaay over-sexed and over-sexual and calling me sexy all willy-nilly and casual like makes me think that dudes are not paying much attention to “me”, but to the sexual parts of me.  And that aint nobody’s cool, thank you very much!

It’d be real cool for you to simply say my name. Or do like one person I talk to…instead of saying my name, he says Beautiful.  That works   Makes me feel like I’m not in Video-Vixen land, and I’m something more unique and special than that.  Of course I’m not on a mission to stop the sexy swag.  I’m not about to start wearing turtlenecks and loafers (lol), but it’d be great if more men understood that sometimes the “wrapping” is the lure and the present underneath is way better than any wrap.  It’s more to a female than lips, hip, tits, and ass (hahahahaaaaa)….well SOME of us!  We’re smart, driven, passionate, compassionate, loving, fun, and great friends!  It’s possible to be all that and sexy.  So please, don’t let that be your main adjective of choice to describe me.  Please and thank you!

(If this applies to you and you’re reading it, don’t call and ask me about it!  Lol)