Today’s Wednesday randomness is a lil eye candy *yeah!* and something that may possibly turn your stomach *no!* Lol…enjoy.
The new Sean John ads featuring Nelly…
Oh, hell yeah!
The “Queen,” Miss Aretha at a Russell Simmons charity event some days ago….
Oh no, my eyes! Yo, bras are EVERYBODY’S friend!
And just for me….Will Demps
Whoooa. Emphatic yeah! A little while back, someone thought that this cat and me were an item. I don’t know where that rumor started but I sure as hell didn’t deny it! (lol…I’ve never even met him).
Posted: July 27, 2008 at 12:40 pm | Tags: Life, mylah
Siiiigh…right now I’m so annoyed with my “sisters.” Allow me to explain…
How many of you watched CNN’s “Being Black in America” the this past week? I only caught the second night, which was about the Black Man, but from what I’d read about the 1st night’s segment about the Black Woman, I was thinking “Booooo! Stereotypes galore!” You know, it was the whole welfare, baby mama, sex-object, etc. portrayal that we all know doesn’t represent Black women as a whole. I took it with a grain of salt, because I generally don’t like to generalize, and like I said, that isn’t my reality. These last two days, though – ummmm, I hate to say that I’ve had more instances that feed those stereotypes than debunk them. That gets a big fat boo too!
Case in point: I just came back from Waffle House. It’s somewhere that I usually never go for a multitude of reasons, but I went there the other night and discovered they have some fire biscuits! I woke up this morning craving one and headed on down the street to get mine to go. I get there, walk up to the counter and the female at the register didn’t even look up at me when I said greeted her. Ooookay. She muttered, “Go ‘head,” and I started my simple ass order, an egg and cheese biscuit with hash browns. Before I could even get the order out, she said, “Hold on let me do this first,” and as if on cue, her cell phone rings, playing “I’m So Hood” (classic….). She answers it and walks away from the counter. Oooookay, again. A good 2 minutes pass and she never comes back to me. Another girl comes up and asks if I’ve been helped, to which I respond no. 1st chick sees this and says “Oh yeah, somebody need to make her a biscuit.” I take a seat and wait. And wait. And wait. During this waiting, a group of 4 come in, also to place a take-out order. Apparently, 1st chick knows this group, they exchange hellos, and she asks, “You want your usual?” One from the group says yes and they take a seat by me. Now mind you, they came in about 5 minutes after I did. Annnnd I ONLY ordered an EGG AND CHEESE EFFIN’ BISCUIT AND HASH BROWNS. That’s like a 5 minute situation. Before I know it, 1st chick tells the group their food is ready to go. “Hold up….now I know….” my mind starts going and automatically the evil Scorpion side of me is trying to claw its way outta me. But you know, it’s Sunday and I’m on some positivity stuff, so I let it go. “Maybe,” I thought, “they just ordered some freakin’ jelly sandwiches. Maybe.” Because I just KNEW I wasn’t being so flagrantly dissed.
So I sit a good 2 minutes more, and by this time, I’m probably about a good 15 minutes in. I’m getting pissed. I walk up to the counter and have not 1, not 2, but THREE….ladies….(I wanna call ‘em something else by now…) walk right pass me. I see my food less that 10 feet away from me, just chillin’ in the elements, getting cold, mofo’s breathing on it. “Okay, I’m really being tried right now,” I’m thinking. Still no one boxes my ish up, no one says ish to me. They just keep it pushing. I’m chewing the hell out of my finger to keep from going off and feeding into the exact stereotypes I’m getting angry about, and I finally say “You know what? Cancel that, ’cause my food’s just sitting there and I don’t want any cold or old food.” I walk out the restaurant , steamed, and head to Dunkin’ Donuts (lol) where I should’ve gone all along. There, it’s always “Hello my friend!” not a gang of indifference and attitude.
The difference? I hate to say, but alot of times when I’m dealing with Black women, it isn’t too pleasant. I don’t really know why that is, but if I had to guess and base it on past (shallow) experiences and generalizations, alot of women are simply some damn haters (oh, how I hate that word). No, that diagnosis is too surface. Alot of women don’t feel good about themselves and don’t love themselves and they project that self-consciousness and self-hatred on other women. Especially ones they may feel intimidated by. It may be them “hating” on a pretty woman. A fit woman. A fly ass woman. Or, dare I say, a lighter skinned woman. I’ll be so “cocky” as to say I’m all of the above (lol), so I don’t get alot of random love from the ladies. Chick at WH was…well, you get the point. I get alot of side-eyes, up-and-down looks, catty comments. It changes most times if they get to know me, but initially, nope.
Even when I’m at work (remember, I’m a server) when I have a table with a young black couple, alot of times, the guy will be nice and the girl will be cold. It’s all good, but it’s annoying. To counter that, I usually try to be overly nice and cool. But that doesn’t always work, like today when I said “good morning” to the chick at Waffle House. And some of the servers I work with…RIDICULOUS! Quick example: I was doing my cash out at work and for that, we have to use one of those big calculator things that print out receipt tape-whatever they’re called (lol). There are only two calculators for all the servers to use. I was on one, and the other was free, but another server, also a black female, was sitting by that one. A white male server came up to us to do his cash out and use the calculator. Their convo went like this:
Dude: “Hey, can I get over there to use that calculator?”
Girl: “No.”
Dude: “Why? You’re not using it, right?”
Girl: “No, but I am once I get all my receipts together.”
Dude: “How long will that be?”
Girl: “Whenever I get done.”
Dude: “Well, I’ll only take half a minute to do my cash out.”
Girl: “I don’t give a f**k. I’m gonna muthaf**kin’ use it in a minute and you can f**kin’ wait. So it’ll only take you half a minute to sit your ass down!”
(errrr……at this point I’m confused and embarrassed….)
Dude: “Haha, aw, c’mon. Stop playing.”
Girl: “Do I look like I’m gotdamn playing? Get the f**k away from me!”
This whole time, the calculator is free and one of them could’ve been done already. I let out a sigh, and told him he could use mine and just walked away, wondering why oh why my “sister” had to show her ignorant ass for no good reason.
Whatev….I could go on and on about different situations, but I won’t. I KNOW that these snippety, attitudinal women are not representative of all Black women. They sure as hell don’t represent me. I just hate that this minority (let’s hope it’s a minority) is what alot of people see and experience. Sisters, WE’VE GOT TO DO BETTER! I’ll propose a challenge, next time you’re faced with a stereotypical person or someone is unpleasant with you for absolutely no reason, smile at them and be sickeningly, sugary sweet with them. They’ll probably be left feeling thrown off and maybe a little foolish for sippin’ that Haterade. Hate is never a good look. Maybe the next time they’re tempted to pop off an attitude, they’ll remember that instant and change their actions. Then you can say to yourself, “Look at me, all powerful and stuff, changing the world one rat at a time!” Lol!
Alright, let me go put on my lashes so I can bat ‘em at work, pay some unhappy people some compliments, and make a hater feel better about them self. Now laugh at this….
So, it’s more than halfway through 2008, and all I want to know is WHERE THE HELL DID THE TIME GO?!?! At the beginning of the year, so many plans were made to have things in order and poppin’ by July. I’ll be damned if it isn’t the 23rd and…well…still on that unstable soil. I suppose that it really ISN’T on my time. It’s on God’s. I swear that’s a tough pill to swallow most times. I will say that my group and “career” (lol…I really have a hard time calling it that) have progressed and continue to progress. But it’s slow going, and patience has never been my strong point. There’s gonna be a day when I see the reason why the process went this way.
But moving away from the deep end (lol)….summer’s almost done and I didn’t even go on a vacay! I bought all these little cute bikinis from Victoria’s Secret and they are still in the bag in my closet. How unfortunate! I actually hadn’t even thought about it until today when AG asked me where I wanted to be on my birthday. He’d remembered that I’d said I wanted to be out of the country and doing something extraordinary instead of the requisite club-n-bottle-poppin shindig. Since my bday’s in November I figured it’d probably ne nice to be somewhere warm so I could break out those bikinis. Greece perhaps? They have sick beaches…
Or sexy Ibiza…
Orrr, the dream of all beach dreams, black sand beaches in Maui….
Yum, yum, yum! We’ll see how that goes I very well may be in Cobb County chilling with a couple martinis!
I told AG that I didn’t even really care so much about what I was doing for my bday, since all I really wanted was for Melrose’s deal to come through. My ideal bday would go like this: wake up early and hit the gym. Go to the spa for a rubdown, mani, pedi and mini-facial. Have a light lunch with the girls. Head back to a hotel for a nap. Hair and makeup a few hours later, then hit the stage at __________ in AnyBigCity to promote the *NEW* album. Whoooo-hooooo!!!! After the show, theeeennn we could hit a club, pop some bubbly and, if all goes well, a little personal nightcap (hahahaaa). THAT, my friends, would be the ideal birthday. The trips and partying are all great, but I am overly focused on this deal being done before 08 is done (DAMMIT!), that I don’t really care about anything else. Is that weird? I don’t have a desire to party. I don’t have a desire to travel as much. I don’t even care to shop and chill as much as I usually do (gasp!) because I only want this one thing. C’mon, God, let’s make it happen! Puh-leeeeease and thank you!
And speaking of things I want- I am sooo wanting a new mini wardrobe from HellzBellz (uh, didn’t I just say I wasn’t into shopping as much? I lied!). Their stuff is exactly me! Since I pretty much live in tight tees and skinny jeans, they’re right up my alley…
I want to have the freedom of a rockstar i.e. a Joi, an Erykah, shoot, even a T-Pain (I gotta admit, he goes IN onstage!). Great example-my new favorite non-r&b-ers PARAMORE. Check it…Hayley rocks! (p.s. I love their label is called “Fueled by Ramen.” Lol…isn’t that what most starving artists are really fueled by?!)
Posted: July 21, 2008 at 1:09 am | Tags: future, mylah
“So where do you see yourself in the next 3 years?” he asked me. The question caught me off guard since I’d been so preoccupied with my “right now” situations. Three years?! S**t, where was I gonna be in 3 weeks?! It was at that moment I realized I was stunting my growth a bit and not being as productive as I could be because I was too worried about the present instead of thinking about and going hard for my future. Now don’t get me wrong, I do at least one thing everyday, most days, to get closer to my goals and dreams. But what if I took the energy I spent wondering, stressing and picking apart every little aspect of my “relationships”, my financial situations, my job- which is cool- but is merely work….what if I took all the energy I expend on worrying and put it towards penning a really honest song, or thinking of concepts for videos, or planning on how to flip this pop-music money? Would I get where I’m trying to go faster? Would I be less stressed? Would my motivation skyrocket?
I’ve learned this about myself in recent years- I’m not afraid to try new things. I’m not too afraid to do just about anything. My fear lies in actually getting the things that I shoot for. I want this deal so bad…but what happens when we sign those papers and get that check? No more excuses on why my body aint waaay on point. No more sleeping in cause I’m tired. If I’ve gotta be somewhere, I’d better be there, no matter if I’m tired, sick, or just on one. I say I want a boyfriend? Okay, well what happens when I’m at the studio ’til 5am and I don’t call and he calls me spazzing the following morning. How do I explain that “it is what it is” and expect him to get it? He won’t be trying to hear that, I’m sure. There’s a saying that (loosely) goes: “Our greatest fear isn’t that we’re inadequate. It is that we are powerful beyond our wildest dreams.” I’m definitely paraphrasing, but you get the pic. As it goes, be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.
Going back to the question posed to me…that simple little question got me thinking, “What exactly is that you want, Mylah?” I wondered just how bad I wanted certain things, and if I wanted others at all. I paused for a long moment, and I responded that professionally I wanted to secure a solid deal with Melrose, and achieve a level of success that would allow me to branch off and do other things musically within 5 years, like more writing, a solo project, maybe building my own studio facility where younger artists could record themselves and attack their own dreams. Maybe hosts open mics. Tour the country with a more soulful-funky sound and a live band. Just be able to happily do music and not have to get onstage at age 40 with a 6-pack, dancing around trying to compete with the newest 20-year-old singing sensation. Personally, I’d see myself in a serious, committed relationship within 3 years. I’m very much over dating for the most part- though I am “dating” to try and find the one I’m supposed to be with. Contrary to my former belief, he isn’t gonna find me if I’m in the house surfing the web, chilling on crackspace, and bitching about how I can’t find anyone who “gets me” (lol).
He said he’d never heard me express myself like that and it was interesting to say the least. I felt like I was naked in front of a crowd because I’m not used to broadcasting my dreams. Maybe in blog or song form, not in conversation. It was interesting to me, too, but also somewhat liberating. Something about putting words and ideas out in the atmosphere that makes them feel more real. If I said it and professed it, it had to be real and true and about to happen, right?
So while he gained some insight, I gained something as well…the realization that I need to keep a continued focus on the needed steps to get each of those things I’d talked about popping instead of thinking “Why am I alone tonight?” “Why can’t I just say yes/no?” “Why is this not happening NOW?” Those are such the non-issues in the grand scheme of things. And non-issues have no place in the makings of this girl.
I’m not very passionate about alot of things, but the things that I DO get into, I GET INTO TO! Of course I’m into music…that’s a “duh”…but another thing I get excited over is fashion. I’m very very very much into clothes and style and that type of creativity. I’m not sooo much into labels, per se (maybe cause I can’t afford the lines I like! Lol…) but I love the way that you can express yourself by not even saying a word just by the clothes you have on. It’s wearable art!
So yesterday I was watching a marathon of my favorite show “Project Runway.” It was the finale episode of Season 3-the season with my group’s fab stylist Michael Knight on it- and the 4 finalists were showing their collections at Bryant Park. I’d forgotten this episode apparently because when I saw Jeffrey Sebelia’s collection, i found myself getting overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. I felt kinda mushy and inspired all at once. I know this is over alot of yall’s heads, but just roll with me for a sec. It’s like when I write a good song, or someone plays a sick melody on the piano, or someone does some crazy licks on their guitar. If singing, or playing keys or guitar is “what you do”, some of the things you do (riffing and running for example) may come to you like 2nd nature, but others might think “how do they do that?!” That’s how I felt watching Jeffrey’s fashion show. To take a pile of fabric, thread, buttons, zippers, and make ART….simply amazing! The intricate silhouettes, the stitching, the lines…gosh! I started writing immediately and thanked God that he blessed me with the gift of creativity. Ahhh, cannot WAIT for the day when I have these folks on speed-dial to dress me for those red carpets! And I need that striped green and white jacket in my life even now.
After watching that, and starting a new song, annnnd going to work for a few hours (yaaaawn), I headed to 300 Bowling Alley to help my group member and buddy Kelee celebrate her annual 21st birthday. We’re all forever 21, bitches! Randomness ensued, as per usual with those Melrose girls. We were super obnoxious (lol…), but it was a good time.
One Public Service Announcement if I might, though….paint mini-dresses and 5 inch stilettos are not appropriate attire for the bowling alley. YES I know Sunday is “industry night” at 300, and yes, I know we all like attention, but er um uhhhh, I’ma go with a big fat NO MA’AM for the freak-um dress and bowling shoes ensemble. And please don’t disrespect your neighbor’s eyes with your baby-tee, pot belly, and American Apparel leggings trifecta of an outfit. It’s not cool. We no likey. Please and thank you!
Okay, I think it’s time for my daily crackspace hit, soooo….OUT. I promise tomorrow won’t be about clothes and stuff =).
I should be sleeping. But I’m wired and inspired. Listening to Eric Roberson and thinking of all the things I could write and make into songs if I wasn’t so surrounded by walls (lol). I’ve never been too good at opening up and being vulnerable. Even when I write songs that are “about me”, I still leave things hella vague, or I’ll embellish, or change details. I don’t know why it’s like that with me. Wait a minute…yes I do. It’s because I don’t enjoy being hurt =). Being vulnerable leaves you open to rejection or to someone getting close enough to stab that soft spot. But listening to this….and listening to “him” play….I don’t know. Maybe we might reconsider this being vulnerable thing (lol).
Today was a loooooong day for me. Though I’m “almost-famous” (I don’t REALLY think that about myself, now!) I still have a j-o-b, since no record label has cut me a check as of yet. I know it’s coming, but in the meantime, mama has to grind. I live the musician’s cliche-I work at a restaurant to pay the bills ’cause it’s the easiest and most convenient job for me. It allows me to still be able to hit the studio, I don’t have to wake up early after these late nights, and if I need to call out, it’s never a problem. Most days it’s cool. Tonight was a bitch. It was hot as heck in there, it was crazy busy all night, and I was personally wanting to give alot of people tips on tipping. 15-20% fools!!! But that’s a whole different post….if you don’t know how to tip, please learn asap! I’m gonna start dropping people’s food in the laps….cheap-skates! Lol. Lord, let this check come soon! Cause right now, my body’s sore, my back could use a rub, and this music is putting me in a mood Dues are definitely being paid at the moment and I’m understanding whole-heartedly that song “She Works Hard For The Money” (lol…though I aint hookin!) This is gonna be real sweeeeet when I get it!
I’m gonna get back on this Mr. Roberson….and think about #1 and #2. (lol) Whichever one fits the bill.
Hello, world! Hello, world! I’ve finally launched my own blogsite, and whoo-hoo….WHAT A FEELIN’! So here’s what you can expect. More of the real Mylah. More of my personal goings-on (of course names and identifying traits of some of my cohorts will be changed to protect the innocent, lol). And just a closer look at how this whole process of transitioning from a lil Midwestern gal to a star-uh REALLY happens. We all should know it aint an overnight process, but in case you are blinded by the flashing lights, I’ll give you the real. My emotions, my ups, my downs, my triumphs and dramas. All that. Travel with me as I am working towards this ultimate goal of making a living off this music thing. I’ll also throw in some humor, some fashion (Mama looooves her clothes!), and some whatever else! Just enjoy, bookmark me, and come back often!
Now laugh at this….
Dues are definitely being paid at the moment and I’m understanding whole-heartedly that song “She Works Hard For The Money” (lol…though I aint hookin!) This is gonna be real sweeeeet when I get it!
